Goodbye Thailand: Public Nose-Picking

This is the first of my “Goodbye Thailand” series, which I mentioned in my post published April 25, 2011. One thing I will most certainly NOT be missing when I leave Thailand is the common practice of public nose-picking.

Sit on any form of public transportation or watch your peers in a meeting room. Nose-picking can happen at any time and anywhere, and done by anyone regardless of age or status. In PUBLIC. 

How did this become common practice in Thailand? And on that note.... Why did it become common practice at all, anywhere?

Let’s back up for a moment. Let’s remember why people need to pick their noses at all, at any time. The nose contains mucous membranes which constantly produce wet mucus to remove dust and pathogens from the air flowing through the nose (which such air then goes to your lungs, bringing oxygen, without which you would die). A nose normally contains plenty of cilia (sensory organelles which are bunched together and look like wavy mops) which work to move the mucus towards your throat so you can swallow it. Sometimes, the mucus doesn’t stay fluid enough to be moved by the cilia; it dries and becomes stuck. Hence the activity of nose-picking, defined by Wikipedia as “the insertion of a finger (or other object) into the nose with the intention of removing dried nasal secretions”.

My online research has revealed that nose-picking has been around since forever. Our supposed ancestors in the primate family (think gorillas and chimps) regularly indulge in such behaviour. Search on Google and you’ll find a plethora of pictures as I did (I would upload them, but I don’t want to be sued for breach of copyright).

Here’s an example:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhnCTdTl6eQqULTyLojsa7q1uBobd4luBnPxDSLRA5Fu43BUIL9yD-PCtdA1H00-B5FzbIj0do-RjLdpxd-RA8KQwM9lskZrZipuGnC6iWFdSi_AIlrZ_BKhtNrQhbZsW_I19nAWOvMCM/s1600/picking+nose.jpg

Apparently, the wealthier Egyptians loved this activity so much that they even sought nose-picking assistants. According to this website (whose accuracy I cannot verify myself, but I assume this could be true):

http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/nosepicking.html

"....this position was highly coveted by lesser landless nobles as well as the peasantry. It was not uncommon for counts to give visiting dignitaries the honor of their own personal mucous, and no prince was unmoved by the prospect of being allowed to slip his pinky into the nostril of the king. A table has been uncovered, too, which, on its underside, bears the distinctive marks of trailing boogers having been scraped off."

That’s all well and interesting from a scientific and historical point of view, but in today’s times, why does this need to be in public? 

In addition to noting this should-be-taboo-activity on the subway, on the skytrain, in a taxi, in a restaurant, etc., I noticed my clearly senior colleague and clients doing this during a serious business negotiation session. It took all the concentration in the world to prevent me from laughing and/or retching. I wasn’t quite sure which response was more appropriate. I also noted that my level of respect for them dropped by about 99.8% just then. I’m sorry, I just can’t take those guys seriously, and here’s why:

1. Their health: Have you looked around Bangkok and seen how much dirt there is everywhere? Those dudes were sticking everyone else’s nasally treasures up their own noses too! Aside from diseases one could pick up by sticking one's pinkie finger up one's nasal cavity (with that extra long pinkie fingernail specially kept for this purpose by many Thais), the picking itself can lead to nosebleeds, perforation of the nasal septum or in very rare cases, infections which spread to the brain.
2. Post-Picking Activities: So once they had completed their nasal excavation, what do you think they did with their finger’s findings? If it wasn’t smeared all over their trousers, it’s highly reasonable to guess that they savoured the taste of it!
3. My hygiene: Now that you’ve dug up your nasally treasures, no you may NOT borrow my pen or pencil or ruler or look at my phone. Get away from me, Public Nose-Pickers! In addition, the fact that it’s such a common activity makes it impossible to avoid being forced into contact with possible nasal treasure dump sites such as BTS poles and door handles.
4. Paradox: Generally, Thai culture dictates cleanliness to rule one’s home and one’s body. That’s why everyone showers at least twice a day, never brings their shoes inside the home (or leaves the shoes at the door), and every toilet comes with a spray bidet alongside. Why then, is this utterly unhygienic behaviour of public nose-picking considered acceptable?

To all Public Nose-Pickers: If you don’t spray your derrière with a spray bidet in public, then why do you pick your nose in public? Seriously?!

I just don’t get it and probably never will. In western countries, this has become quite a taboo to engage in such activity in public and I wish I knew how that happened, so I could start a campaign here. I don't understand why it is too difficult to resist the compulsion to pick one's nose in public and wait for a more suitable and private time such as in the comfort of a bathroom where one can blow one's nose into a tissue paper. I know that famous politicians occasionally make this blunder too (a quick search for "Barack Obama picking nose" yields several pages of results) but Mr. Obama is in a country in which everyone can poke fun at his nasal excavation and have the right to do so, morally and legally.

In the meantime, I will just to turn a blind eye to noses and long pinkie fingernails and think of the other things I will be missing from Thailand. More in the next blog article! Thank you for reading and stay tuned <3