Quick recap of Khun Cod's theory on Thai women, taken from the article:
- They are, with few exceptions, "a whole other kind of crazy from every other species in the world".
- They like a man who is "aow jai", meaning that men have to spoil them incessantly, including but not limited acting as chauffeur, bellboy, therapist. For non-Thais, "aow jai" can be literally translated as "want mind". What "aow jai" amounts to in practice is the constant attempt to please someone to the point of outward subservience.
- They are superficial when it comes to relationships, by choosing appearances (last name, wealth, possessions) as opposed to substance (he doesn't expand on this point particularly, but I presume, chemistry and attraction based on mutually shared interest and values).
- They do not value the notion of "personal space" and will not hesitate to invade yours, should you choose to date one.
- They will find it acceptable for their man to have multiple "mia nois" (literally meaning small wife, or mistress) and/or "giks" (a promiscuous playfriend with whom you definitely flirt and often more than flirting). As long as the man keeps on the D-low and doesn't publicly shame her sense of dignity, all will be accepted and forgiven because it is culturally accepted.
Khun Cod's Theory, bottom line: "If you want to date a Thai woman, as long as you're needy, attentive and discreet, you can get away with almost anything. Particularly if you're rich."
For the benefit of the doubt, let's assume that Khun Cod was intentionally writing a piece that was meant to provoke and expose himself to the wrath of women. I am not interested in berating him since I see that several others have already written several comments about his (in their words) poor journalism.
Regardless of whether or not I consider that his article was written poorly, I find the subject fascinating for a two-fold reason; firstly, I am a "Thai woman" (nationality wise anyway, plus I currently live here), and secondly, love is what makes my world go round so all subjects to do with relationships between people interest me.
It was indeed biased, but then so is all journalism to a certain extent... I had hoped it would sound less like some ugly nerd annoyed about being constantly rejected, and more in-depth contemplation of the reasons whyfor etc.
The bullet points which I listed from his article above, are observations which I, along with several Thai and non-Thai friends, have also made on our own accord and have witnessed occurring even among close Thai female friends. I should warn the reader that the majority of my female and male friends and acquaintances in Thailand (outside of the office) generally consist of Thais who finished high school at an international school in Thailand, have been educated abroad in some way (such as completion of a university degree), come from families which would be considered as middle to upper class, speak perfect English, work for reputable companies, enjoy socializing and meeting (and have dated both) Thais and non-Thais, have engaged in consensual pre-marital sex, know how to dance and enjoy life spontaneously yet at the same time take their responsibilities seriously.
I have never met Khun Cod, but we have several mutual friends which has led me to believe that he must have encountered (and attempted to date, although apparently unsuccessfully) similar types of Thai women as those with which I am well acquainted. So well done to Khun Cod for pointing out the obvious.
While we are engaged in the activity of vast generalization about Thai women with complete disregard to socio-economic factors (e.g. level of income, education, family influence, hi-so/low-so/no-so), I may as well point out some obvious behaviours of Thai men in similar society.
How to Date a Thai Man in Bangkok
A self-described hot Thai woman describes how the Thai man is a completely different type of douchebag from the rest of them out there
- Thai men equally place emphasis on superficial values, such as how a Thai woman looks as his arm candy, how envious his friends will be, how OTHERS perceive her to be a good girlfriend for him, how she will increase his own value in the eyes of others.
- They are equally prone to irrational bouts of jealousy, starting petty arguments, and giving the silent treatment when they're not getting their own way. i.e. Petulant.
- They feel entitled to have a mia noi or a gik. "Everyone's doing it and not getting caught, so why not join the promiscuous fun?"
- When you want to end things with a Thai man because you likely caught him cheating on you, he begs for forgiveness which can lead to two paths, depending on your response. A) You forgive him and agree to stay with him. He continues cheating on you anyway. You enter into a long and ultra stressful series of breaking up and getting back together. B) You tell him to f*ck off and mean it. He refuses to face the music and let you go, which often turns into him stalking you, assaulting you with emotional blackmail and/or physical violence, showing up and embarrassing you in public when you least expected it, private home invasions, lobbying with your friends and family to make them understand that he didn't mean to, and that you two are really meant to be together.
Miss Banana Nomad's Theory, Bottom Line: "If you want to date a Thai man, throw your brain, heart and morality out of the window, and accept that constant heartbreak and/or mental breakdowns will now be a part of your life from Day 1."
-----------------------
NB. This post is intended to be entertaining as opposed to slanderous or constituting a hate campaign against Thai men. As I mentioned, I am more interested in the issues of how and why the matters are thus, but I have to do some more research about this. Maybe in my next post ;-)
No comments:
Post a Comment