The best ideas often happen while in or on a bed, when you're cuddling with the other half and discussing your futures together and so forth. The Consultant recently returned from work and found me sitting atop his bed [wait for it...] working on this blog and brainstorming about subsequent posts [see, nothing scandalous there]. After the usual "How was your day", and discussion on where to have dinner as well as nearby future [holiday] plans, the conversation turned to progress on the blog:
Me: "There are so many blogs out there on food and related material, I know of at least 2 other blogs on this subject. How can I differentiate mine to make it more interesting so that people will actually read this and find it useful?"
The Consultant: "True. Maybe you could put in place some sort of rating system out of a 100 for each restaurant, then have another page with a league table, and the two could be linked."
Debate then ensued as to the merits of using a rating system with 100 - How can you decide the difference between a 7 and 8? And how about 77 and 78? How to link the separate pages, I am very low-tech...! [Note to self: the Consultant said I should ask the Wingman's best friend, the Tall Dutch One, since he is an expert in these web page matters.]
Technicalities aside, the main point to be surmised is that we both agreed some kind of rating system should be put into place. I've thought this over and decided to rate restaurants according to the following factors (out of 10 for each factor), with the overall possible score of 100 as suggested by the Consultant:
1. Tastiness: Because I'm lucky enough that I have the choice in living to eat, not vice versa, it follows that the food must be delicious if I (or anyone) will keep going back.
Orgasm in the Mouth (10) - I'll eat it because I'm hungry (5) - No means NO (1)
2. Wallet Deprivation: The food which you want to digest when you've just been paid your bonus is usually quite different to the food which you want to digest after you've used your bonus to pay for all of your bills, credit cards, rent and all those mundane yet necessary tasks.
Rob a Bank/Be born a Millionaire (10) - Wallet-Friendly (5) - Practically Homeless-Friendly (1)
3. Atmospheric Considerations: Ambiance is like molecules in the air. You can't see it, but you know it's there. You sense it without having real awareness of doing so (unless of course, you are a scientist and you're examining molecules under the microscope). It's like, when you just sit in a restaurant and automatically feel that you're simply oozing coolness due to the mere fact of sitting there, when actually it's because the place is full of Thai celebrities ("Da-Ra") who are themselves oozing coolness while they sit and dine at the adjacent table. This might not be a good place for a first date, since your date will be too busy ogling the Da-Ra; also, you can't take your date to somewhere which is jam-packed full of people who are simply there to eat in order to stay alive - where's the romance if it isn't devastatingly frivolous?.
Da-Ra and Hi-So Central (10) - First Date Intimacy (5) - Prison Canteen Atmosphere (1)
4. Service: Bad service with a non-smiling waiter is quite possibly the key, unspoken reason as to why restaurants have now evolved to serving customers using a conveyor belt (e.g. Yo! Sushi, in the UK) or robots instead of real people [Note to Self: Must check out that new restaurant named Hajime which opened in Bangkok, in which the food is served by robots].
Tip Them, They're Worth It (10) - Acceptable (5) - Replace All Staff with Robots, ASAP (1)
5. Pimp Your Ride: I don't have a car, but I do like to be driven by people who have cars. Sometimes, the issue of parking can be a concern (e.g. Princess Panda's car recently received some damage due to parking unavailability).
Valet All the Way (10) - Fight For Your Right to Park (5) - Take a Cab (1)
6. Originality: This factor was suggested by the Wingman, and I agree it is important - What makes a restaurant stand out from others? A new concept, a new way of presenting the food or a new method of cooking certainly helps.
Patent-Registration-Worthy (10) - Same Same but Different (5) - Same Same, No Different (1)
7. PETA-Friendly: Thailand has an annual vegetarian festival which is celebrated by not eating meat and participating in other strange rituals such piercing oneself with giant bamboo poles. For the less extreme vegetarians and/or vegans, I should think it must be boring ordering vegetarian pizza or pasta everytime...
Only Herbivores Allowed (10) - Omnivores Welcome (5) - Fur Coats are de Rigeur (1)
8. Are you on the Guestlist? Having to queue is one of my top ten pet peeves. It seems like the time could be better spent by, oh I don't know, NOT queuing?!
Queue Before Your birth (10) - Reservation Usually Necessary (5) - What's a Reservation? (1)
9. Fix Up, Look Sharp: It is a given fact of life that certain things make one look better such as high heels and dresses (usually for women, probably never for men, unless they are ladyboys) and suits (sometimes for women, always for men). Part of the allure in going to flashy restaurants is the knowledge that you will be seen, checked out and envied for being so stylish. In addition, some restaurants actually impose dress codes to maintain the perception that they attract the best looking. This is simply a psychological extension on the principle of the law of attraction: When you're beautiful, everyone wants to know you and be part of your life, including following your footsteps into whatever restaurant you're dining at.
No Suit, No Table (10) - Semi Strict Free Style (5) - Whatever You Dare, Just Wear (1)
10: Oppression of the Minority: I don't have children, pets or wheelchairs, but some people might, and their choice of restaurant might be influenced by this. I certainly wouldn't want to take a wheelchair bound friend to some place like Iron Fairies - there is barely enough space to move the wheelchair just past the door.
Can Accommodate All (10) - Mixed Results (5) - Rampant Oppression of Everyone/Thing (1)
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Time to eat lunch in the middle of Nowhere where my office is! Ding Ding!
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